Painting
by Joy1
Summary: Buffy wants Spike to move in... Is he ready for that?
1. painting

Title: Warm and Safe 4 Wheaton College Employee Wheaton College Employee 2 407 2001-10-18T22:52:00Z 2001-10-30T19:21:00Z 2001-10-30T19:21:00Z 7 2628 14983 Wheaton College 124 29 18400 9.3821 

Title: Warm and Safe 4

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

            Buffy was sitting in her basement surrounded by plastic covered material as she painted the walls. The flooding in her basement destroyed enough stuff that the insurance would help her out of some of her debt… especially if she painted the walls herself. Hair tied back and paint clothes being worn, Spike thought she looked as cute and as young as she had when he met her four years earlier. In four years she had aged tons… he hadn't helped in the process. Spike sighed and made his way closer to his luv.

            "Ya look good in paint… sort of primal," Spike quipped as Buffy turned toward his footsteps. She had a few drips on her face that added character. One was the shape of a tear. He reached out to her cheek and touched the paint. "Haven't seen you in a while… Thought space might be good…then I got impatient, so I'm here."

            "Don't recall ever having seen you in jeans that were ripped… or blue for that matter," Buffy answered turning her cheek from him. 

            "I knew what you were painting…I lurk, ya know… I came prepared," Spike explained his painter garb. Buffy snorted a bit. "What, luv?"

            Buffy rolled her shoulder briefly, almost at the name. "Angel would know things too. He used to say he lurked."

            "Is that why you've been avoiding me?" he responded more statement then question. "I knew it would come up now and then…I just didn't anticipate you not seeing me over it."

            "He called… I didn't see you because I was seeing him," Buffy said in monotone voice swirling the paint around with the paint stick. "I didn't go to LA… We met in the middle."

            Spike tensed… It was obvious that Buffy was expecting fireworks or at least an explosion. The jealousy that raged through Spike, he kept under control knowing that Angel and Buffy could never be together again. It was perfectly reasonable for Angel to want to see her alive and well with his own eyes since he had not seen her laid in the ground like Spike had. 

            Breathing evenly, Spike cleared his head and spoke, "Does he feel better now that he knows you're okay?" 

            Buffy's head snapped up in surprise. "No 'Did you kiss him?', 'Did you tell him about us?', or 'Do we need to worry about his soul?'" 

            Spike put his hand aside her face, "Got a lot of crap from the Scoobies, huh?" Spike let a smile break over his face, "Or did you want me to be full of jealousy to know I still cared? Or maybe you want me so level headed that you'd know I can stand the occasional appearance of my sire?"

            Buffy blushed, "Try all of the above…"

            Spike kissed Buffy gently and waited for her response. All of the emotions that had been brimming in her overflowed into that kiss. It ignited almost immediately leaving both breathing heavily, despite Spike's no need for air. He looked into her eyes before kissing her again more passionately. 

He stopped the roaming of his hands over her body long enough to say, "I am full of jealousy at the thought of you touching him…" He caressed her hip, "or kissing him," he kissed and licked her neck, "or making love to him," the words slid from him as he pressed her body up against his own. "But," Spike said more coolly, "I know that is in the past, the two of you are in the past… I don't need to know that you told him or not about us, mainly because I don't think he would understand at this point… I lost you this summer. I wouldn't want to hear you were with someone else once you were back… I can deal with the fact that Angel was your first love and that you were his only love in centuries… I just need to know we're still on the same page, because if we're not I want to fix that."

            "We're on the same page," Buffy said breathily as Spike held her hips in a very erotic and possessive gesture. "I just needed him to know I was okay… We kept our distance for the most part. He hugged me a lot at first and wanted me close but soon realized it was too close for me."

            "But me its okay with?" Spike asked as he pulled her the inch closer so he could hold her body next to his and have her head relax against his shoulder.

            "Most of the time… like now," she relaxed into his arms.

            "When isn't it okay, pet?" he asked slowly and quietly as not to disturb her mood. 

            "I don't know…" she whispered. "When I feel like if I don't have a moment to myself I'm going to scream. That's normally the moment you arrive and make me feel the most loved and understood." Spike stroked her hair for a while and reveled in the fact that he fit her moods pretty well… gentle when she wanted it and racy when she needed excitement. 

"I know I've told you before…I know you didn't believe me then…well because I didn't have a soul… but… I do love you," Spike confessed. He felt her shutter in his arms. As far as he knew this was the first time she cried since she was raised… "Pet… I wasn't trying to make you feel bad…" he whispered in her ear. 

            Through a sob Buffy said, "I'm only really having strong emotions… It's not bad necessarily… I just want to say it back… It's just not there… so I'm frustrated."

            Spike brought Buffy back to face him. "If someone hasn't explained this to you already, I'll try. Emotions take a while to get back…frustration and anger will be among the first. You're mourning…all that you lost… I'm not pushing. I just wanted to say the words and mean them more then I ever had before, alright?" Buffy nodded and wiped her face clean of tears before Spike found her lips again.

            "So you want help or do you want to hide by yourself for a while?" he asked sweetly with a big smile. 

Buffy smiled back. "Help would be good."

"Where's my 'LilBit'?" Spike asked as he picked up a roller. 

"At a friend's house. She'll be home soon. She likes to paint so she'll be down to help as soon as possible," she answered.

"Good… I like my Summers' girls together in one place where I can keep an eye on them… You know that as soon as she starts to date I get first crack at the boys," he announced, pointing the roller at his chest.

"No way… Family first," Buffy countered.

"Hey," Spike snorted as he grabbed Buffy's waist, dragging her up against him. "I am family… Big Bad Brother."

"Oh yeah…"

"Yeah…" Spike stated and kissed her long and hard. 

"Whoa…When'd ya start doing that?" Dawn asked at the top of the stairs in her painting clothes. 

Buffy leaned her forehead to Spike's chest and laughed. He laughed himself as he said, "Well…since the night you gave me back my soul…"

Dawn took a few steps down the stairs as she said, "Well good… I was worried you two wouldn't work it out, seeing how my sister gets hung up on logistics a lot."

"Oh yeah…" Buffy said splattering Dawn with a little paint from her paintbrush. 

"Hey…" Dawn said as she went for a paintbrush and dunked it in the paint.

"Girls… we do not need to paint the floor," Spike said trying to divert a paint war only to find himself soon caked in the slick substance on the front of his shirt and some on his back. "Alright…fine!" he announced as he dueled Buffy and rolled her stomach and got Dawn's back. 

As the first coat of paint was applied, Dawn had her own part of the wall she was working on apart from Spike and Buffy, who contentedly worked side by side. Dawn was listening to U2 and dancing as she painted.

"Look pet," Spike nudged Buffy to see the joy her sister was wrapped in. Buffy smiled… "The first time I saw you, you were dancing."

"When… I thought you saw me dusting a vamp…" Buffy recalled.

"Nope… I was in the Bronze… You were dancing with Xander, swaying your hips like that…" Spike said looking at her with lust in his eyes.

"Oh yeah… What else do you remember about that night?" Buffy asked thinking he'd mention how he threatened to kill her.

"Nickel was the band playing…" he whispered before kissing her lips lightly. 

They backed away from each other and returned to painting the wall. "Ya know she's going to start dancing with boys the way you did," Spike informed Buffy.

            "No way… My intention is to keep her as innocent as possible," she announced.

            "How do you think we'll manage that?" Spike said, slipping the '_we'll'_ in.

            "Talk to her about boys a lot…Or we could always just scare the boys," she said slipping into the 'we' idea just fine. 

            "Hey, we could be really nice to the guys and then when they're about to leave I can go all fangy on them saying 'Curfew is strictly enforced.'"

            "Oh, I like that… Or we meet the guys over at the shop in the training area. I'll find it necessary to break boards in their presence."

            Spike smiled, "We'll keep her safe, luv."

            "Promise?" Buffy asked with innocent eyes.

            "Promise… I failed you once. I won't ever do it again," Spike said hugging her.

            "I want you to stop saying that. You did not fail me…OKAY!" she said stubbornly. Spike reluctantly nodded. 

            Dawn continued to dance and paint, totally absorbed in her work. Buffy surprised Spike entirely by saying, "So what will we be doing while Dawn is off dating pre-approved boys?" She stared at the wall as she said the words.

            Spike almost dropped his roller but soon regained his composure. "I guess what other parents do… watch TV, cross stitch, shag…" Buffy stopped mid stroke on the wall as her face became a nice shade of salmon. She swallowed and finished the stroke. When she said nothing, Spike got worried. "That was me teasing pet… I didn't expect you to go non-verbal on me."

            "What will we do when she comes home with her first broken heart?" Buffy said distracting from the previous comment. 

            Spike decided to go the sweet approach, "We will sit down with her and listen to her cry about how the boy doesn't understand her. You'll wipe away her tears and kiss her nose. I'll tell her that a man would be a fool to walk away from a Summers woman, because they are amazingly strong and independent women that you can't help but love. We'll put her to bed and sit down stairs aching for her." Spike kept eye contact with Buffy the entire time. 

            "Why won't we ache for her in our room?" Buffy asked in a whisper.

            Spike smirked, "_We _have a room?" 

            "Yeah… my mom's old room… It's the parents' room," Buffy said as she kept her attention on the wall. 

            "It's a pretty dream… I guess I'll sleep on the floor by the door," he said painting the wall not looking at Buffy. 

            She crinkled her forehead imagining being alone with Spike in her mother's room- with him on the floor. "Why won't you be in bed with me?" the words slipped out of her mouth before she could think about what she was saying.

            Spike turned to her, "I wasn't sure you wanted me there because of your reaction to my 'shag' comment earlier." He swiped his paintbrush over her nose. 

Buffy soon was caught up in her own little world picturing a variety of things they could do in her mother's big bed. She shook her head slightly to banish the images. Spike's smirk returned as he leaned into her ear. "You're thinking about it," he whispered. "What it would be like with us…" He suckled her earlobe for a moment and then went back to painting.

            Spike waited until Buffy returned to painting before bringing up the two witches that resided in the room at the present time. "So how does it work around here? I'd of course pay rent… well, more like help pay the bills. Do Willow and Tara chip in for food and rent?"

            "Uh… We haven't talked about it…They've been so good at caring for Dawn, I didn't want to insult them by saying, 'It would be easier for me to pay for only one mouth rather than three,'" Buffy said with a slight huff. "At least with you I don't have to worry about feeding…"

            "Hey guys look…" Dawn called as she showed them her expert way of doing the corner she was at. Both Spike and Buffy looked at her proudly.      

Much laughter and paint dribbles later, Anya, Xander, Willow and Tara found the three covered in paint, the floor had many shoe and foot prints all over it and the walls were just beginning there second coat.  "White looks good on you," Xander called to the laughing idiots in the basement.

"Hey guys…" Dawn bounced over to the lot of them. "Now that Buffy's back, how long are you going to be staying?" she said looking at Tara and Willow.

"Uh…" Willow looked confused.

Buffy and Spike immediately looked at one another, realizing Dawn had overheard their little discussion. Buffy grabbed Dawn by the arm, "That's not on the table yet Dawnie." The look in Buffy's eyes alerted Willow to not having been part of a discussion. "Don't worry about it… No changes will be made for a while," she said to reassure the red head.

"No," she shook her arm free. "I want things to change," Dawn said in her very fifteen –year-old way. "This is the way it should be… us. Just the three of us," she said pointing, including Spike. "They're great but I know you've done the math and it's easier to support you, me and his blood supply then it is to support the four of us."

"Dawn…" Buffy snapped. "This is not up for discussion right now."

"LilBit, we were talking in pretty dreams… We weren't talking about now," Spike spoke quietly as the wide-eyed foursome looked them over with amazed looks.

"But I heard you two… some things would cost less and…" Dawn interrupted. 

Spike spoke more forcefully, "Willow and Tara have taken really good care of you Dawn. The last thing any of us want is to be ungrateful for how they have taken care of you… Whatever Buffy and I were discussing about the future isn't up for discussion for the general public yet. Especially when it involves other people's lives." He looked hard at Willow. "You don't chose to change people's lives on a whim Dawn… not when they have been really good to you," he said through clenched teeth. 

"What is going on?" Xander interjected, walking over to Spike. "You're talking to her like a parent." His attention turned to Buffy, "What you decided one vampire is as good as another?"

Spike grabbed Xander shirt collar, "Look friend… What happens between me and Buffy is between me and Buffy, but I won't be having you put her down because you don't get it and don't like me." He let go of Xander's shirt. Buffy just glared at Xander.

He looked to Dawn, who had her arms folded over her chest. "You're okay with this?" he questioned.

"Why wouldn't I? Not one of you even tries to understand Buffy the way he does. Willow thinks she's all that because she pulled off the spell. Tara is busy taking care of me…thank you by the way. Anya is running the shop and you're at work. None of you have been dead… None of you really has a clue the kind of responsibility Buffy feels and how isolating it is. You all have each other… Why don't you see that Spike makes the most sense for a partner to Buffy? He loves her more then any of you ever could… What? She doesn't deserve it? She's just saved your asses and the world a hundred times," Dawn barked. 

"That's enough," Buffy said quietly taking Dawn's arm.

"No… God you act so high and mighty," Dawn turned on Xander. "You're with an ex demon…and have dated or been attracted to other demons. Willow is so delirious with power, she couldn't even admit that she was wrong to pull you out of heaven." Dawn turned back to Buffy, "I love you too but I know that if you were at peace that is all I could have wanted for you. I'm happy you're home but I'm not going to pretend it didn't cost you or that it isn't selfish to have you here. She's dark and she's getting darker. I don't want her in our house anymore. I love her and I thank her for what she did for me but I won't thank her for what she's put you through." 

As Dawn finished speaking, Willow ran up the stairs with Buffy tearing after her. Willow started dumping her clothes into a suitcase when Buffy arrived in Joyce's bedroom. "It's obvious I'm not wanted… I'll go stay with my parents until I find a place."

"Don't be ridiculous… You'll stay here. Dawn will cool off… It's just a lot for a kid to be mad at in the last year…" Buffy said trying to smooth things over.

"You believe her and Casey too…that I'm corrupt," Willow asked with imploring eyes. Buffy looked away. "I knew it…" she raged throwing more clothes in her bag. 

"Willow its just… why can't you accept you were wrong? It won't change me being here. I won't be taken away…It would be so much healthier for you just to accept responsibility for your mistake," Buffy comforted. 

Willow closed her suitcase and headed for the door. "I'll be over tomorrow…but I'm not staying here tonight," Willow stated loudly. Tara hurried to her side. "I need some time to think," with that she was gone. 

"I'm sorry Tara. I tried to stop her…" Buffy said as Tara nodded from the open door. 

Buffy stared out the door as Spike came up behind her in that familiar way so she could lean on him. He kissed her temple and rubbed her shoulders, "Let her be pet… She needs to figure things out."

"We shouldn't have said anything in Dawn's ear shot," Buffy said to Tara. "I had no idea that Dawn would say what she did… You are welcome to stay." 

Tara nodded again. "She's being corrupted…isn't she?" Tara said when she found her voice.

"Maybe…" Buffy said without committing one-way or the other. 

"What was the plan that Dawn over heard? I'd like to know," Tara said quietly.

Buffy and Spike looked at each other and Buffy sighed. Spike wrung his hands and then said, "Dawn was dancing to some music and we talked about the boys that would come calling for her soon. We talked about interviewing them and scaring them with my vamp face so they didn't try anything… then we just started talking about us being here and it being our place rather then Scooby central." 

He looked at Tara. "We talked about expenses and … I asked if you and Willow had been chipping in money. I never thought that Dawn would turn on you like that… I wasn't trying to imply that you weren't carrying your weight because God knows you took care of every need of Dawn's…"

"I understand Spike… I understand Dawn too. I know it's nice to have a home that's your own… I guess we got used to this being our home…" Tara muttered. "Until Willow gets her head on straight…can I stay?"

"Of course… We weren't talking about…" Buffy said.

"Now." Tara completed her thought. 


	2. Bronze

Title: Warm and Safe 5 Wheaton College Employee Wheaton College Employee 2 175 2001-11-08T16:46:00Z 2001-11-08T16:46:00Z 4 1510 8609 Wheaton College 71 17 10572 9.3821 

Title: Bronzing

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

            The night proceeded with little fan fair. Xander and Anya took off because Xander could not deal with the idea of Spike actually being with Buffy. Willow called Tara to let her know that she had arrived at her parents ok. Tara stayed on the phone listening to Willow lament the situation as Dawn, Buffy and Spike took turns washing away their fun with paint.

            Life began to bring the three closer together as a real family unit. As the week went on Buffy decided that it was high time Dawn got to have a perfect teenage moment. Dawn was excited that Buffy and Spike were taking her to the Bronze where they would be close enough so that she couldn't get into trouble and far enough away to let her have fun with her friends. 

            Spike and Buffy on the other hand were a mess. Buffy was flying through her closet for something appropriate to wear as Spike merely looked on and watched. He sat on his haunches and admired Buffy's behind twitching about in her closet. "You're on Dawn Duty not Date Duty… Should I be worried?" Spike said as he lay back on her bed. 

            Buffy being frustrated only noticed the motion not the leer he was giving her. "No… Of course not…" 

            Spike willed her to turn around and see him sprawled out on her bed, biting his lip. Watching Dawn defend him as part of the Summers Clan had warmed his heart and having Buffy not try to deny there was something between them to Dawn or her friends had created a tightening in his jeans. He wanted to claim her…mark her as his… He wanted to taste her… in a variety of ways. The idea of sinking his teeth into her – just enough to break the skin - and lap at the injuries, boiled his blood. It would be a very long while before he would even bring that piece of intimacy up.

            Just then Dawn left the bathroom… "Shower's free," she called. 

Buffy headed for the door. Spike stopped her short, "Luv… I'm a little… excited… It might be better if I go in first and… relax. The idea of you being in there will not help my situation." 

Buffy looked down the length of his body then pushed the door to her bedroom shut and locked it swiftly. She looked up at her peroxide honey and smirked. She grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled him backward with her to her bed. "We can't do much with Dawn down the hall but we can play some."

Spike looked down at his amazing angel lying on the bed below him and he groaned. "Your killing me… but I will gladly take any of your affection," he said as she kept pulling him on top of her. A sudden knock on the door sent Spike toppling to the floor as Buffy instinctively pushed him off. 

"Sorry," she whispered and went to the door.

"Why do I get the feeling this is the night of sexual frustration?" Spike muttered to himself. 

"I just wanted to thank you for taking me tonight… Alec will be there so please don't embarrass me," Dawn said at the door.

"No problem…" Buffy muttered and shut the door. She turned around and lust shown in her eyes.

"Pet… I suggest I go take that cold shower and you find something to wear…" Spike said before Buffy assaulted him – throwing him on the bed and climbing on top of him. "Buffy… Dawn is down the hall," he whimpered as she continued to stroke his chest and suckle his neck. When she bit him lightly it was all over. Spike flipped their positions. 

Just as Spike was about take Buffy, Dawn knocked on the door again and once again Buffy sent him flying. "You rehearsed this, right?" Spike muttered as Buffy rolled her eyes. He brushed past both sisters to the bathroom where he safely locked himself away from Buffy's advances. 

With cold water spraying on his body, Spike began to relax and calm his raging hormones. He scrubbed his skin removing the tingly sensation Buffy left behind. He turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist- only then realizing he had no clothes to change into… "Buffy!" he screamed.

"What?" she answered from the door. 

Spike opened the door a crack. "Do you have a big… huge T-shirt I could wear?"

"Excuse me?"

"I have no clothes to change into."

"We'll stop by your place and get you dressed," Buffy said with a smile. "Now I need to pretty up so I don't embarrass my little sister."

"No, I'll stop by my place. If you come into my crypt I'm not sure I'd let you leave. Could I please have the T-shirt?" Spike answered. 

Buffy looked up at him coyly and headed to her room. She returned a moment later and knocked at the door. Spike answered shirtless in his jeans. "Here you go," she said handing him a t-shirt. 

"Bloody hell… What is this?" Spike said as he saw the front of the shirt, which read 'Got Stake?'

"It was a gift from Xander and Willow. They had it made for me… It's perfect for you…" she said with a smirk. 

"I'll wear it home, but I'm not wearing tonight… I'm going to try to look… normal. I'm going to try and find something not black to wear."

"I like you in black," Buffy said with a pout. 

"Yes…but tonight is about Dawn having a normal teenage moment. Big brother William is going to be on his best behavior. I suggest the same of Buffy," Spike commented to the still pouting blond. "Now give me a kiss and I'll meet you at the Bronze in forty five minutes." Buffy rolled her eyes and kissed Spike lightly. 

Jeans and t-shirt on, Spike grabbed his jacket from Buffy's room and headed out. "Bye LilBit."

"Bye Spike," Dawn called. She turned to her sister who was staring down the stairs after Spike. "You have it bad!"

"I do not!" Buffy snapped.

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Riley, you thought would always be there so you didn't moon over him. Angel you mooned over but more like my friends moon over guys. I mean I know you loved him…but Spike you're a grown up with. You tell him about the money troubles and your frustration. You let him share your burden. With Angel, you spent all your time wanting to be a normal kid then shift gears and save the world. It was all about you then you'd relent and save the world. With Spike there is no downshifting between conversations. You both have the singular mission of giving me the most normal childhood you can, so you share the death, the fight, the life and the living… In other words, you have it bad," Dawn expounded. 

"Wow… Have you been working on that or did you get that from off the top of your head?" Buffy asked staring at her sister.

"I've been thinking about it. If you didn't start admitting your feelings I was going to hit you with a really long speech. That was the short version."

"Thank you for the short version… Now I'm going to shower and get ready. Call your friends and compare clothes or something."

"I'll go into your room and pick out something for you to wear," Dawn said as she waltzed into Buffy's bedroom. Buffy took a deep breath and let it go. 

The Summers women entered 'The Bronze' and began look for the guy they were each waiting for. Buffy was wearing her black leather pants and a tan long sleeved shirt with a v-neck that showed off her pale skin while Dawn wore Buffy's old red leather pants and a gray angora sweater. 

"He's here…" Dawn whispered. 

"Spike?" Buffy looked. 

"No…Alec… Be good and don't embarrass me."

"Got my word."

A minute later Dawn whispered again, "He's here…"

"I know you told me… Now point him out," Buffy looked where Dawn was looking at the bar. 

"No… Spike's here…" Dawn said pointing to Spike, who looked really good and very normal, no black at all. He wore a tight pair of blue jeans that looked brand new and a soft blue sweater that matched his eyes. "Try not to drool," Dawn commented as Buffy's mouth hung open. 

Buffy's eyes stayed locked on Spike as he approached. His eyes were penetrating, stalking her. Buffy noticed a girl bite her lip as Spike walked toward her. The girl reached out a hand to grab Spike's butt when Buffy clutched it. She moved faster then she normally would in public. "Hands off…Mine!" Buffy said to the red head with lust in her eyes.   
            "I don't see a wedding band…" the girl said folding her arms. Spike turned around and watched the show. 

Buffy raised and eyebrow at the girl, "What's your name?"

"Janet."

"Well Janet… Why don't you ask him if he is interested especially when he knows he's coming home with me to my bed?" Buffy said angrily through gritted teeth. 

Spike couldn't help but be overwhelmed by Buffy's possessiveness of him. He decided to nip the argument in the bud before it got out of hand. He came up behind Buffy and wrapped his arms around her waist. "What's up, luv?"

Janet smirked, "Ohhhh… He has an accent to. Well, you look good enough to eat." Spike restrained Buffy from punching the girl. "She says you're going home with her but I thought I'd offer my bed as a diversion."

Spike kissed Buffy's cheek from behind and pushed Buffy to the side. "I am a one woman guy… I live and die for her. Whatever aerobics you think you could tempt me with aren't half as important to me as having her heart and trust… so why don't you find some other bloke to hit on. I'm taken." With that Spike turned around and slid his arm around Buffy's waist walked over to Dawn who was too far away to have heard the conversation. 

"What was that about?" Dawn asked. 

"I can't believe the audacity of that girl!" Buffy steamed. "I mean really, she didn't know your name and she was ready to sleep with you…" she continued to rant. 

Dawn looked dumbly at Spike. "The girl went after me and your sister got possessive. It prompted a female pissing match and I ended it… that's all."

"Is she going to be all right? She's still babbling to herself?" Dawn asked watching Buffy pace and mutter. 

Spike smirked, "Watch this…" Dawn watched as Spike stopped Buffy in mid motion, placed his hands on either side of her face and kissed her, nibbling at her lips for a minute or so. Buffy blinked a few times and then looked up into Spike's face. 

"Wow… You need to move in, just so you can do that to her when she freaks out," Dawn said in wide-eyed wondered. 

Spike smiled at her and then kissed Buffy's nose. He leaned in close to her ear, "Go let Dawn play so we can be alone." He kissed just under her ear lobe and then bit the hanging piece of flesh lightly. 

A shiver ran through Buffy's body from Spike's attention. In a bleary eyed gaze Buffy tried to focus on Dawn. "Go have fun with your friends. Check in every once in a while… but not while we're kissing." Dawn laughed and scurried away. 


	3. The boy

Title: Warm and Safe 6 Wheaton College Employee Wheaton College Employee 2 178 2001-11-08T16:47:00Z 2001-11-08T16:47:00Z 5 1925 10978 Wheaton College 91 21 13481 9.3821 

Title: Parenting

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

            Dawn happily scurried away from Buffy and Spike, who were gazing into each other's eyes longingly. The Bronze hummed with energy, as people all around were dancing and partying, yet theirs were only two sets of eyes that really mattered. Spike had been happy that Buffy hadn't denied her feelings for him to her friends but he was floored at her possessiveness when another woman hit on him. The fact that she had said that he was coming home with her to the other woman caused a tightening in his chest. 

            Buffy was still trying to catch her breath from the whole experience. She had seen Angel a few days before and there was still love between them, but not the fiery passion there had been. When Angel touched her it was Spike she wanted to be holding her. That was freaky enough… but now all her friends knew she and Spike were a thing and not minorly. They had been talking about him moving in. That was just nuts, and yet it felt like he was supposed to be there to help her handle life. He was the other half of the pulling team. When Dawn wouldn't listen to her, Spike could reach Dawn. When the walls needed to be painted he worked along side her. And when the world need saving again, he was there to help save the day. The fact that she had gotten so bent out of shape that another woman came on to Spike was the confusion at the moment. The 'mine' mentality that she possessed when it came to Spike was frightening and wonderful. 

            Spike caressed Buffy's cheek and said, "You look good in leather. I appreciate the view…so does every other man in this place."

            "Are there other men in this place?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

            Spike smirked as his hands rested on Buffy's hips. The touch of the leather in his hands was driving him crazy. "It's going to be really hard to keep my hands off of you," he said caressing her hip. 

            "Then slide them where you want them," Buffy said breathily as she swayed to the music effectively causing Spike's hands to move over the leather. 

Spike swallowed hard. He had made a decision he wanted to tell Buffy but he was pretty sure she wouldn't like. It took all his strength to remove his hands from Buffy's body.  He touched her cheek and spoke softly, "Luv, I need to talk to you." 

The words came out and Buffy froze. "You think it's not going to work so you're leaving me…right?" she said in a small voice.

She looked so frail. "No Buffy, that's not it. If we have the approval of the Powers that Be, I'm not backing down, no matter what anyone says."

"Then what was the talk going to be about?" Buffy asked with questions in her eyes. 

"I… When I was alive… No, that's not right… Let's sit down," he said stumbling over his own words. He guided them to a far corner table where they weren't likely to be overheard.  Spike kept racking his brain to find the words to speak. "Buffy… I want you…"

Buffy blinked a few times, "I feel a 'but' coming on." She looked at him with crinkled brows. 

"Bloody Hell… I'm no good at being good…" he said in desperation. 

"What does this have to do with being good?" she asked.

Spike met her blue eyes and sighed. "When I was alive I never… I died a virgin Buffy. I've never slept with anyone when I had a soul… Afterward, it was just the demon tasting flesh… When we do, I want it to be special… And as much as I love you, you're not there with me yet so…I want to wait until you are."  
            Buffy smiled and moved into Spike's lap. "I think that's sweet and smart."

"Yeah?" he asked still worried that she would be upset. 

"Yeah…" she said kissing his cheek. "I would still like you to come home with me and snuggle up beside me in bed… I'll be good."

"Okay… Shall we go spot the boy?" Spike asked.

"Nah… Let's dance."

"Your wish in my command," he smiled as she led him onto the dance floor.

Buffy and Spike moved out on the dance floor enjoying being together. "Wow, look at your sister. She can dance," Dawn's friend Alison said watching Buffy. "I didn't know she had a boyfriend."

Dawn smiled at the idea that Spike was being called a boyfriend. Alec stood with a couple of his guy friends in the group of Dawn's girl friends. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"Spike's older… boyfriend just sounds funny," Dawn replied.

"Spike? What kind of name is Spike?" a small, brown haired girl named Dana asked.

"Nick name- He used to have spiky hair. It stuck," Dawn lied. 

"He's hot," Alison said as she watched Spike dance with Buffy a little too close. 

"He has an accent…" Dana piped up. "I heard him talking to the bartender… He has a gift for your sister stashed back there."

"Ohh fun… He's from England but he's been all over the world. We hang out a lot… He's the best," Dawn said missing the frown slowly appearing on Alec's face. 

"Bet you wish it was you out there with him?" Dana asked dreamily. 

"No way… He's old…" Dawn snapped with crinkled forehead. Alec's face lit up. "He's like my big brother… My big over-protective brother," she muttered under her breath as Buffy and Spike approached the group. 

"What's up?" Dawn initiated. 

"Not much… I'm going to take a break and get a drink," Buffy said to her sister.

"Good, then I can dance with LilBit," Spike said wrapping one arm around Dawn's waist and picking her up. "Sorry gents you'll have to wait." Buffy went off to the bar laughing while Dawn was absolutely mortified that Spike had swooped in like he did. 

"What are you doing?" Dawn fussed on the dance floor. 

"You dance with an older guy that shows an interest in you… You'll find out real quick if your guy likes you enough to make a play or at least ask for the next dance," Spike explained. 

Dawn looked at him in disbelief. "Or it will scare him off," she said in frustration. 

"Well it's certainly gotten the attention of the brown haired guy in the middle… He hasn't taken his eyes off you since you and I got out here."

"Who?" Dawn asked switching places with Spike. She looked for a moment and made eye contact with Alec who looked away quickly. 

"Is that the guy?" Spike asked. 

"I'm not telling," Dawn demanded. 

"Fine," Spike said taking Dawn into his arms to dance close to her to see how the boy would react. Spike could swear steam was coming from the boy's collar. Spike smirked and kissed Dawn's head as the song finished. "That should get some good gossip running about you and the older man at school on Monday."

"You're evil!" Dawn said frustrated and embarrassed. 

"Maybe… but it worked," Spike said as Alec approached. "Hey…"

"Hey," the boy said with a nod.

"Hi" Dawn said meekly.

"Dawn, do you want to dance?" Alec asked without a stutter. 

"I was dancing with her," Spike protested. 

"She didn't look like she was having a good time," the boy challenged.

"That's probably fair… I guess I'll go get a drink. See ya later Dawn," Spike said and nodded to her. Off he went leaving his baby in the arms of a stranger but one that he at least respected for challenging him. 

Buffy was seated cross-legged at a table watching the scene in front of her. Spike sauntered up very pleased with himself. "What did you do?" she asked.

"I provided some friendly gossip about your sister and an older man," he said with a slight snarl. "Besides, I inspired the boy to come rescue Dawn from my clutches." He wrung his hands like some old time fiend from the movies. Buffy laughed. "I'm just impressed he came to challenge me… Good sign."

"I guess…" Buffy sighed.

"Come on pet… By this age you were saving the world from vampires and only months away from falling for Angel," Spike said sitting next to her.

"That's what I'm worried about," she said in distress. 

Spike slipped an arm around her. "We'll catch her when she falls. She doesn't have to hide from us the way you hid from your mom."

"Yeah…"

"Look…" Spike pointed at Dawn dancing to a slow song with Alec. "His hands are where they should be. Dawn is smiling…" They watched as Alec asked if he could hold Dawn closer. She stepped forward and they danced cheek to cheek. "Looks like a perfect teenage moment to me."

Buffy lifted her head from Spike's chest. She looked into his eyes and kissed him thoroughly, intensely without overdoing it. Spike blinked a few times feeling completely taken. "What was that? I enjoyed it…I just want to know why?" he whispered touching her cheek. 

"Because if I'm not there at this moment, I'm getting really close…" Buffy said timidly as her eyes searched his face. "I… I'm falling… for you."

Spike blinked rapidly and then pulled Buffy's face toward him slowly. "I love you," he whispered. "I will always love you. You and Dawn are my family, my reason for being. This time when you die, I know I can follow you… Nothing would make me happier then an eternity with you… Having lived a couple hundred years, I can honestly say I don't make the statement idly."

Buffy closed the distance between them and kissed his lips as she cried softly. She pulled away slowly, allowing Spike to caress her tears away. "You say the prettiest things."

"Don't spread it around," he said with a smirk. 

Buffy chuckled, "I don't deserve you."

Spike looked at her in shock. "Slayer, you deserve ever ounce of love I have for you and ten times more."

"Stop it or I can't promise I'll be good tonight."

He smiled when she said that, "Let's go dance."

Dawn and Alec stood away from their friends when they left the dance floor, smiling at each other and staring a bit too long. Buffy and Spike left the dance floor too with Spike sneaking away for a minute. Alec nodded to him, "Guess he's going to get that present for Buffy now, huh?"

"I guess," Dawn shrugged. She watched Alec's face turn ashen. "What's wrong?"

"Here my luv," Spike's English accent descended upon them as a red rose appeared in front of Dawn's face. All of Dawn's girlfriends watched and awed over the older man. Dawn didn't know what to say. "There's a vase over by your sis that you can put it in," he said in a dismissive tone. He sent her on her way to Buffy…leave him with…the boy! 

"Hi. Just thought I'd introduce myself. I'm…" Spike began to say.

"Spike." Alec finished.

"I was going to say William but Spike works if you want it too."

"Spike is fine," the kid answered. "I'm Alec."

"You've been behaving really well with my LilBit, Alec so I thought I'd give you the heads up. There is a few of Dawn's favorite flowers behind the bar…just ask for them. Buffy and I are really all Dawn has left so…behave like a gent and we'll all get along just fine."

"I was planning to," Alec answered sort of annoyed.

Spike smiled, "Glad we understand each other. Buffy and I are going home so I'm leaving you to get Dawn home safely. Have her home in a half an hour or so… or at least on the back steps, okay?"

"Yeah…" Alec answered with a questioning glance. "Why are you being so cool about this? Why are you helping me?"

Spike smiled big. "Because if I let the older Summers girl talk to you, she would show you how strong she is and how very likely it is for you to get hurt if you hurt Dawn. Now since you didn't act like a teenage horn dog, I'd like to see you around more often."

"Dawn has said I could stop by but I was always afraid to," Alec said with a sigh. 

"Coming by will win you points with Buffy. And believe me you want all the points you can get with Buffy," Spike said. "See ya in a half an hour, Alec. Don't be late."

"Got it!"

"Good."

"What is Spike doing?" Dawn pled with Buffy as she watched Spike and Alec's discussion from the table. "He's going to scare Alec off."

"Would you rather me talk to him?" Buffy asked.

"God no."

"Well then…Let Spike let the boy know that he can take you home and we won't have me needing to break anything to show the boy I mean business," the Slayer said calmly. 

"You wouldn't dare," Dawn scoffed.

"Are you kidding? Spike is the only thing keeping you from a convent."

"We can't afford it," Dawn said lacing her arms.

"Fine…Spike is the only thing allowing you to date. If you didn't respect and listen to him, I'd probably be breaking lots of boards in front of your potential dates. I, however, have resigned myself to the fact I can't be objective so Spike is taking the reigns on this one," Buffy said calmly.

"So Spike is really the person I need approval from?" Dawn asked.

Buffy shrugged a bit uncomfortably, "For the most part, yes."

"Okay… I may get to date after all."

Spike walked to them when he had finished laying the rules down with Alec. "Ready, pet?" he asked sweetly. 

"How long did you give him?" Buffy asked.

"He gets to walk Dawn home and has to have her on the back steps in a half and hour," he explained. 

Alec started toward the group with something behind his back. "Hi… I'm Alec," the boy said to Buffy. 

"I'm Dawn's older sister, Buffy. We're just leaving."  
            "Stay for one second… I have something for Dawn I'd like you to see." Buffy nodded. Alec produced three large sunflowers from behind his back. 

Dawn's eyes went big, "Sunflowers are my favorite. Thank you."

"I figured since your sister had a vase, you could let them take them home while we walked," Alec said with a small smile. 

"Sure…" Dawn said in awe. The flowers were promptly transferred to the vase and the older couple headed out, leaving the younger couple to stare at each other smiling. 


	4. Spying

Title: Warm and Safe 7 Wheaton College Employee Wheaton College Employee 2 148 2001-11-10T19:35:00Z 2001-11-10T19:55:00Z 2001-11-10T19:55:00Z 4 1305 7444 Wheaton College 62 14 9141 9.3821 

Title: Spying

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: R

            "What are you doing?" Buffy asked Spike as he stared out the window. When he didn't respond she through a t-shirt and men's jogging shorts at him. 

            Spike looked at the clothing and said, "These better not be GI Joe's." The stern look on his face cracked Buffy up.

            "No… The shorts are Xander's and the T-shirt is mine… And no I don't know why Xander's shorts are in my bedroom," Buffy replied. 

            "He and Anya probably went at it in here during your departure."

            "Eww… Don't say things like that."

            Spike turned back to the window and saw something. He flew down the hall to the good bathroom. "Now what are you doing now?" Buffy asked as she followed in a quiet voice since Tara was sleeping. 

            "I'm making sure the boy takes my advice on being a gent," Spike answered.

            They both peered down at the back porch watching Alec and Dawn sit and talk. Finally Dawn stood up with Alec following suit. While her back was turned Alec wiped his palms on his jeans. Spike chuckled at the sight, but Buffy hushed him. Dawn turned back around to say goodnight. Alec gently leaned in to kiss Dawn. He kissed her the way Spike kissed Buffy, taking her face between his hands and then caressing her check afterward. Dawn blushed and said goodnight again and went inside. Alec stood on the porch for a minute rocking back and forth on his heels. He sighed and then spun in a circle before leaving the porch. 

Buffy and Spike watched Alec walk down the street as Dawn cleared her throat behind them, startling them both. "You two have no shame," Dawn stated clearly with folded arms. 

"Yes, but we can tell you what he did when you came inside," Buffy said coyly. 

Dawn smirked, "What?"

"I don't know… I think Spike might need to demonstrate," Buffy asked.

"Fine…" Spike sighed. He acted out Alec's actions completely. 

"Really?" Dawn asked cautiously not wanting to get her hopes up. 

"Oh yeah…" Spike replied.

"Go write the whole thing down in your journal… Trust me you will want this years from now," Buffy instructed. Dawn nodded and gave both a kiss goodnight. 

Buffy and Spike got into Buffy's room and tried to act normal about nightly routines that they hadn't established yet. Buffy went into the bathroom and changed to into her pajamas, as Spike got into barrowed clothes. After waiting for Buffy a little while, Spike knocked on the bathroom door. "Buffy… you coming out of there soon?" he asked touching the bathroom door lightly. Something told him she was having second thoughts about him spending the night in any capacity. 

"I'm not sure," Buffy responded.

"Why?"

"This is a big deal," she said softly. 

"I know… I can go home if this is too soon," Spike soothed.

The door flung open. "This is where you belong…" she said with a huffed and marched back into her room. 

Spike followed, shutting the door behind him. "Alright…but this was your idea so if this is too soon, I can sleep on the floor or in the living room or the bathtub I suppose. It's not like I haven't done it before…At least I won't be chain up this time."

Buffy laid a hand on his cheek bringing his lips to hers. "I just…" 

"I know baby… I'll sleep on the floor," he said grabbing a pillow to rest his head on. Buffy got in bed and tried to find a good position. Spike noticed she was breathing too rapidly as she continued to fidget. 

"Alright… I'm coming up there. I don't want to be tossed," Spike said with a sigh. He sat on the edge of Buffy's bed and watched her squirm and pout. "Come here," he said quietly and waited for her to come to him. When she finally sat up and let Spike take her in his arms she started to cry softly. "What's wrong, pet?"

Buffy brushed the tears away from her face, "It's stupid." Spike made a face at her. "I think I'm mourning my teen years and other stuff too."

"Why don't we start with the teen years part?" Spike said as he positioned them better. He leaned back against the headboard of her bed and kept her pined to his chest. "Did Dawn's date prompt this?"

"Yeah…" Buffy sniffled. "Mom was always busy and Dad was far off and no one was concerned about my first date or making sure the guy was a 'gent'… Then there's the weirdness that when we moved here, Angel had already fallen for me… at least he claims that… There was this night that he saved me from some vamps and got hurt in the process. He slept on the floor like you are tonight… The first time Angel kissed me his face changed. It scared me to death…but then he killed Darla for me… All of these things happened under my mom's nose and I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her that the only guy I liked since we moved was a vamp and several years older then me. I couldn't say how weird it is to have someone kill for you…especially his sire… I feel like I got lost. It's just too much…and now…sometimes things ate too similar…"

"Hush now…" Spike said stroking Buffy's hair. 

"I don't want to compare every moment with you to a moment with Angel," she fussed. "I don't want it cropping up that Angel slept on the floor in this room."

"Then don't let it," he said looking deeply into her eyes. "I know tonight has been bumpy for you so why don't we snuggle down right here, with your head on my chest and my arms around you, okay? I'll be right here if you have a nightmare or you feel like crying again." Buffy nodded against his chest. They slid under her covers and Buffy clung to Spike. "I'm not going anywhere," Spike said as he kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight Spike…" she said and kissed his chest. He sat and watched her until she was asleep.

The sound of Buffy gasping for air and clawing at her throat woke Spike. Her arms were flaring still dreaming. Spike grabbed her hands and moved them away from her throat. Blood trickled down her neck and fingers.

This was the first real test of Spike's strength over his beast. "Buffy… Buffy wake up…" he said shaking her. He tried to keep his eyes on her face rather then her neck. "Buffy," he said louder shaking harder. She opened her eyes. "Hey luv… You had a bad dream," he said stroking her hair. "Ya cut yourself…" he muttered and turned away getting out of bed trying to calm the beast. 

Buffy got up and looked in the mirror. "I clawed my self good."

"Yeah…" Spike said from the window.

Buffy wiped the blood off and got back in bed. "You coming back?" she asked.

"Don't think so pet…" Spike said as Buffy looked on confused. A new line of blood began to creep down her neck. "I could lick your injuries without getting zapped so I should probably sleep on the floor… That's just too tempting."

Buffy blinked a few times. "You shook me awake and then removed yourself from the blood even though you wouldn't be zapped…Wow… I'm impressed."

"Well, now you see my difficulty so… I'm going to go sleep in the living room where I can't smell the blood," Spike said grabbing the pillow on the floor and headed for the door.

Buffy's voice stopped him. "Or you come back to bed and lick my scratches," Buffy said with a smile.

He turned around suddenly. "Excuse me?" Spike said confusedly.

Buffy walked toward him. "Do your best to stay looking like my William and we'll lay back down and you can drink," she said leading him by the hand.

She lay back in bed pulling Spike on top and to the side of her. Spike just stared until she positioned his mouth to her wounds. He carefully traced the edge of her scratches with his tongue. As the metallic taste hit his tongue Spike grew hard from the situation and the intimacy. "Oh God Buffy," he gasped and then set to sucking at the cuts.

Buffy shifted positions slightly, bringing Spike closer to her body. She soon became aware of his attraction. "You're enjoying this, huh?" Buffy whispered running a hand down Spike's back. 

Spike groaned at the coy sound of her voice. "Later… Much later… maybe we can incorporate this in…into our intimacy," Spike spoke very carefully as he pulled away from the cut. 

"Sounds like a plan to me," Buffy said as she stroked his arms. Spike tried to calm his body. "That really turns you on, huh?" she asked innocently.

"Now don't be getting any ideas Slayer. I prefer your blood in your veins where it belongs," he stated firmly. "But no, I can't deny having you offer your own blood to sustain me doesn't make my body quiver."

"You can lick my wounds after a fights from now on," she said with raised eyebrow. 

"You are trying to kill me, aren't you?" Spike muttered feeling the tightness in his groin growing. 

"I'm making a memory that I enjoy that has no counterpart in my life… I like that," Buffy said quietly still caressing Spike's arms. Buffy lay her head down more completely on the pillow and positioned Spike on her chest to sleep. "Goodnight… pet," she said in an effort to establish a common nickname. 

"Goodnight luv," he said leaning up and kissing her lips and they settled back for the night. "You're going to have on hell of a hicky tomorrow."

"That's okay… I've got a scarf I've been needing to wear. Sleep well."


	5. The night guest

Title: Night guest

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: R

            Buffy woke to Spike looking at her hungrily. She opened her eyes and he descended on her mouth. "You look good enough to eat when you wake up…" he snarled. 

            "Let's get you a packet of blood from down stairs before I get nice fang bites for real," she said with a kiss. "I don't think my friends could deal with that right now."

            "Oh your friends wouldn't see where I'd take a bite…I promise," he said with an evil glint in his eye.

            "This is the vampire version of morning wood, isn't?" Buffy looked up at him.

            Spike rolled his eyes, "Yeah sort of…"

            "There's a pint of O neg in the fridge, screaming your name," she stated sweetly.

            "Let me see your neck," he insisted. "Scratches are gone and only minor bruising. That Slayer healing thing is amazing," he said with a smile.

            "You eat, while I shower." Spike began to growl. "Down boy… Will this happen every morning?"

            "No… I'm just hungry and horny… Not a good combination for a vamp… I'll go eat."

            Buffy checked on Tara and Dawn who were both up and out bright and early. Dawn left a note saying she would be out with Alison and she took Buffy's pager if there was an emergency. Tara on the other hand had just vanished. Things were very strained between Willow and her these days so Buffy hoped she was just at the Magic Box. Dawn or Tara had kindly pulled all the shades so Spike wouldn't be all toasty. 

            Spike quickly stumbled down the stairs and rambled into the kitchen. He grabbed the packet of blood from the fridge that had a note from Dawn attached. "Morning Spike… Don't eat my sister. Love Dawn." Spike's mind immediately wandered back up the stairs to the slayer in the shower. He smirked at the variety of ways Dawn's note could be taken.

            "Stop that," he berated himself and poured the blood into a mug before placing it in the microwave. "Think of puppies and sunflowers… Bloody hell… Grandmothers naked… That helps." The microwave began to beep at him as he woke from his attempt to get his mind out of the gutter. "You made the rules mate… Ya gotta live with them." He took a swig of his breakfast and went into the living room to lie down. He sipped from his cup and breathed easier. 

            Buffy descended the stairs with wet hair that waved a bit. She tucked her hair behind her ears as she stood in the doorframe just admiring Spike lying on her sofa. "I know you're there," Spike barked. "I can smell you clear as day."

            "Oh yeah?" Buffy quipped.

            "Yeah," he said before setting his cup down then opening his eyes. He took in her jeans and soft cashmere sweater that made her eyes look more green then pure hazel. The words got caught in his chest. She looked so damn beautiful and she was his. Spike just stared in wonder as Buffy approached him and sat down. 

            "Cat got your tongue?" she whispered.

            "Ya might say that," he answered. 

            "You done eating?" 

            "Yeah."

            "Good," Buffy responded kissing Spike sweetly. 

            "What did I do to deserve you?" he asked quietly.

            Buffy smirked, "Changed the very nature of a demon to love me." Spike smiled and kissed Buffy thoroughly. "I like this," she said simply, hugging him around the neck.

            "Yeah?" he asked wrapping his arms around her back. 

            "Yeah," she responded and gave a quick kiss. 

"Good because I'd like to do it more often."

            "Oh good we agree… We'll move your stuff over tonight," Buffy announced and started to stand. 

            "Hold your horses there, Geronimo," he said pulling her back down. "Moving in is a big step… One that needs to be talked about with the other two women that live here. Besides I think that's a little fast… I'm just barely not ravishing you." Buffy began to pout. "We will play it by ear, okay?"

            "Fine," she mumbled.

            Spike looked at her quizzically, "I don't get it… You didn't feel the need to live with either Angel or Riley. What's up?" 

            Buffy got up in a huff, "That's right I didn't feel the need to live with either of them – one because Angel I couldn't and shouldn't and two because with my mom's illness it wasn't the best… I didn't really want to either… This is different. You fit. You're part of the family. You belong here…they didn't." Buffy sighed, "I like the permanent idea of you living here."

            Spike stood up and reached for Buffy. "Might I remind you that my last serious relationship last over a hundred years… I'm not going anywhere in your lifetime." He kissed her forehead and led her to the kitchen. "We'll talk about this some more when you get home. Now you need to eat."

            Spike packed Buffy off for the day and climbed the stairs to get back in her bed. Buffy shut the front door and waited a few minutes until she was sure he thought she was gone. He listened intently from her room and then settled back into her bed, smelling her pillow. Slowly his hand descended his chest and lay on his swollen appendage.  

            Buffy climbed the stairs silently with little trouble from the great deal of practice she got in high school. She stood out side her bedroom door and wondered if Spike was asleep yet. All she wanted to do was climb back into bed with him but soon she heard the soft guttural groans coming from behind her door. Partially shocked that Spike wasn't having fun in the shower rather than her bed, she didn't really realize she was getting really turned on. "Ahhh… Ahhh… Oh Buffy… Buffy…" Spike moaned as she listened biting her lip so she didn't groan in response. "I LOVE YOU!" he practically shouted as he came. Buffy's face took on a huge grin and decided it was best to leave before she acted on desire and break her promise to Spike. 

            As she turned to go she heard Spike say, "I know you were listening… I can smell you remember…especially when you're aroused."

            "Why you…" Buffy started to shout as she went for the doorknob. 

            Spike pushed on the other side of the door, "I guess I'll have to remember you're an audio girl… you like to listen."

            "You conniving little…" she grumbled pushing at the door.

            "Oh there is nothing little about me in this department I assure you," Spike answered.

            "I am so going to kick your ass for setting me up," Buffy said and shouldered the door. 

            Spike threw open the door, letting Buffy collide into him and stumble backwards falling to the bed. "Kick away," he said in a breathy voice. 

            In seconds, Buffy and Spike making out like teenagers on an overnight field trip. Buffy ripped the t-shirt off of Spike's body while he ran his hands all over hers. As their breathing began to quicken and other items of clothing began to be stripped away, Spike came back to the little voice in his head… His large head that is. "Buffy… Buffy…" he said placing his hands on both of her shoulders shaking her slightly. "This isn't the way I want to take you… not the first time… not when I can have it perfect with you in love with me too." He looked at the confusion in her eyes. Spike lay back and groaned. "I'm so sorry… I am a huge jerk."

            Buffy sighed and put her head on his bare chest. "It's okay. I wouldn't have wanted my first time to be…" Buffy shook her head knowing that wasn't the way to take the conversation. "I understand," she said and laid her head back on his chest. 

            She couldn't say the words. Spike sighed and knew it would be awhile before she could. He petted her hair and lay with her in silence.          


	6. Family Meeting

Title: Family meeting

Name: Joy        

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG-13

            Life was becoming more complicated. Willow and Tara officially broke up over Willow's overuse of magic. Anya had convinced Xander that Buffy and Spike dating wasn't all-bad especially since Spike had his soul back. Dawn was probably handling the turn of events the best. Consensus among the Scoobies was if the Powers that Be were cool with arrangement then who were they to stand in the way. 

            For the most part Tara and Dawn were very accepting of Spike's presence in the house… It made for better games of cards and conversation. Buffy and Spike would generally patrol together after dinner and 'family time' so to speak. This lended itself to coming back to the house showering and sleeping. On the few nights Spike did go back to his crypt Buffy tossed and turned searching for her cold comrade in her sleep. Buffy took it upon herself to call a house meeting about the situation—without Spike's knowledge or approval. 

            "So what's this all about Buffy?" Dawn asked as the three women sat around the dinner table. Tara looked on with curiosity.

            "I want to ask Spike to live with us but I wanted to make sure it was alright with you first," Buffy said in one long breath. 

            Tara and Dawn looked at each other and laughed. "Is that all? We thought you were going to tell us there was some ancient prophecy you were fulfilling by having a vampire's baby," Dawn said with a laugh.

            "That can't happen and you know it…" Buffy glared. 

            Tara smiled. "Really Buffy, if you want to have Spike move in we would be overjoyed… I'll switch rooms so you two can have more space and a new start for me in a new room," she ventured.

            "Really?" Buffy asked excitedly.

            "Oh yeah…" Dawn chimed in. "But he is **_so_** responsible for cleaning his own blood mugs. That stuff is just gross when it clots," she said sticking out her tongue. 

            "Wow… that was easier then I thought. Now all I have to do is convince Spike that it is a good idea," Buffy said with a sigh. 

            "You don't think he'll want to… He's here all the time," Dawn quipped. 

            "Yeah but he still does go home and brood."

            "That was Angel… Spike watches TV and eats chicken wings," Dawn said with folded arms. 

            "I just don't think he wants to move in… I mean we talked about it and he likes staying here and being part… but he likes his space too. Maybe it's just a guy thing," Buffy said solemnly. 

            "Probably," Tara agreed. "This is the house of estrogen after all." They all had a good laugh at that and got ready for dinner. 

Spike was at the Bronze shooting pool when Xander entered to see if the cold one was about minus the Slayer. Xander strode up to the vampire as he smoked. "How's it going, Blondie?" Xander ventured. 

"Fine… And you Harris? Or are you here to rag on me?" Spike asked. 

Xander sat on a stool next to the table, "I was just wondering about this thing with you and Buffy…" Spike exhaled smoke slowly. "Are you in it for keeps? Or are you going to freak and pull a Dead Boy routine? Because we've been down that road before and it's not pretty."

Spike set the pool stick on the table and took a long drag on his cigarette. He eyed Xander for a moment. "Angel didn't work because Buffy and he had too much pain and torment between them. Captain America was a little too clean cut and not enough dirt. Lets be honest, I never really inflicted that much harm on anyone Buffy loved accept Angel… and she long ago forgave me of that. I also am no choirboy. The way I see it, I'm exactly what she needs. She can't have a normal life so why not give her someone who can love and fight with her… No Harris, I'm not gonna flea like either of them. Peaches was wrong… She needs someone who can dance with her in the dark, not take her in the light." At that Spike picked up the pool stick on the table and sunk the last ball. He put out his cigarette and took a swig of beer. "Anything else?" Spike asked calmly. 

            Xander stood up and sighed. "Just being protective. The last time you tried to convey your love to Buffy you chained her up in your basement."

            Spike scrunched up his face and breathed heavily, "Yeah… I did… Hey, I let her go… You, my friend, dragged her out of heaven." He said with a wicked grin. 

            "Okay… Over the line… Extreme low blow," Xander said in defense. 

            "I'm just teasing," Spike laughed. "Besides… She's here now. And now I have a soul that isn't going to be taken away from me for loving Buffy… If you didn't come pestering me about my intentions, I'd be worried. That's your job as the brother."

            "You sense that too, huh?" Xander said with a smile.

            "Yeah."

            "Well, you go home to my little sis, 'kay?" 

            "Ya got it Harris," Spike said and handed him the pool stick. Spike's blond head floated out of sight. Xander decided to make himself scarce too.

            Spike walked along the gravestones of the cemetery looking at the full moon. He climbed on top of his crypt with his journal and pen staring up at the sky. For everything he had just said to Xander Spike couldn't help but feel something was very off between him and Buffy. They kept bumping into the same problem…She didn't love him reckless abandon. She was still afraid he would leave so she didn't say she loved him and she didn't trust him entirely. Spike had committed to Buffy in everyway he knew how short of crossing his own lines. He wouldn't move in or sleep with her until she committed to him fully. 

He let out a deep sigh and picked up his pen. 

My love, my heart 

_Given freely and unreturned_

_Why am I not different?_

_Why can't you see?_

_When will I stop running races_

_            against ghosts of the past?_

_When will I be free?_

_When will you love me fully?_

_When will you see the pain you cause?  
When will you turn on me in anger_

_            because I'm not leaving like the rest?_

_When will you be over me?  
Why won't you love me differently?_

_Why can't you love me differently?_

            The words flowed quickly from his mind to the pen. They were on the page before him in seconds and he knew… the pain. In a moment he understood Riley in a way he never had before. Spike understood all to well the pain of loving Buffy could cause. To love Buffy was an all-consuming task but she wouldn't let him close enough to be needed. He had traded her feeling of death for his own. 

            "Hey," came a small voice from below. Buffy climbed the side of his crypt and accepted Spike's hand up. "What's ya doing up here?" she asked.

            "Looking at the stars… Solitude and all…" he said in his British way. 

            "Ya want to be alone?" Buffy asked timidly.

            Without looking at her he said, "Yeah… Alone is good right now."

            "Oh," she said softly. "Okay… I'll be around…" She looked back at Spike looking at the sky. "Are we okay?" she asked a bit confused. 

            "Why wouldn't we be?" he said absently. "You like the way things are."

            Buffy stopped and looked at him suspiciously. "But if you don't like the way things are then we aren't okay," she said succinctly. 

            Spike's eyes came level with hers, "Go patrol… Nothing will change in the next few hours."

            Buffy was totally taken aback. She sat down directly across from Spike on the top of crypt meeting his gaze. "Patrolling will wait… I've made big mistakes in the past by running off patrolling when I should have worked things out… I just need to know what the problem is," Buffy said in one breath. 

            Spike stood up and started to pace on the small roof. "That's part of the problem. You don't even know or notice… I have Xander asking me if I'm going to pull a disappearing act on you and I can think is 'Hey, there is a reason the guys get gone,'" he snapped.

            She blinked a few times trying to take in what was just said. "You want to leave me too," she whispered. 

            Spike sunk back down and grabbed her hands. "No… God… I couldn't even leave you when you were dead… Leaving now would be masochistic… I just understand now why they left."

"You do?" Buffy whimpered with tears in her eyes. 

"Yeah," Spike said gently. He brought his hand to her face and caressed her cheek. "You have no idea what its like to love you so completely and to give you everything I can and watch you pull back… I'm fighting off the ghosts of your father, Angel, Riley, and now Giles… I need your all and you can't give that. So it hurts a lot… And all I can do is wait and hope that one day you'll realize that I'm worth the chance."

Buffy was crying by this point. "I'm sorry I can't love you the way you want me to…" she cried as she leapt off the roof of the crypt and began to run. 

Spike took out after her. He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around, kissing her hard. She struggled in his arms but not to her full ability.  "That's a lie Slayer!" he spat. "I've seen you love… I've seen you love with complete abandon… I want that… I want all of your love, not just what's safe to love me with… I'm drowning in you and you are desperately trying to keep your head above water… Meet here Buffy. Love me with your all not with just what makes sense."

Buffy's eyes were pierced by Spike's. He held her to himself for a moment and then loosened his grip. "I'm not going any where. But it's not fair to make me pay for all the sins of those who came before me… I've got enough sins of my own… I love you, but that's not enough."

Spike started to walk back to his crypt when Buffy called after him. "I asked them." Spike turned around in question. "I asked Tara and Dawn if it would be okay if I asked you to move in." He listened and walked a few steps closer. "They said it was fine." Spike stood right in front of Buffy. "Tara and I are going to switch rooms so we could have more room… You and me… I thought we could go to store and look at paint for the walls, something dark and not reflective." 

Buffy looked up with hopeful eyes at Spike, who leaned down and kissed her gently. "Picking paint?" he asked with raised eyebrow.

"It's what I got right now… I know you're not leaving on one level, but the fear is still there," Buffy said and paused. "This is what I can give right now with all honesty… a future."

"I can accept that," Spike said with a kiss. 


End file.
